How To Avoid Gaining the “Holiday 7”
Recently, the Food Nazis got together, probably over some rich, gooey dessert, and strained their tiny brains between bites to determine exactly how much weight the average American gains during the holiday season in yet another attempt to ruin our lives. No doubt they huddled in a padded room, performing exhaustive research while other people brought them snacks; after much deliberation, they revealed their results:

