Sexy, Sophisticated Plus Size Clothing in sizes 12-32

Dear Bonnie,
I have always thought that I would have a husband and a family. Now, though, in my 50's, I cannot imagine anyone being comfortable with my body since I am not comfortable with it. I don't want to be alone forever but I cannot see what to do.
Gallen

Dear Gallen,

So many women are uncomfortable with their bodies that there is a term that has been coined, "normative discontent." Almost no one has a perfect body unless it has been airbrushed to look perfect in a magazine. We are all people with a range of wonderful qualities. Yes, of course, there are some people who would not like your body, something that is true for every body. More importantly, though, there are tons and tons of people who will. The challenge for you is to see your own value, your own attractiveness, your own worth because that energy is what everyone responds to in another person. If you can find ways to see how appealing you are, others will respond to that experience of you. If you need help, get together a friend or two and talk about all that is beautiful, in every sense of that word, about you. Write down what they say. Practice those words in your head. There is ample evidence that one can reprogram one¹s brain with new and optimistic messages.

Wishing you a bountiful life,
Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,
Diet, diet, diet, diet, diet! I am sick of them. Now what?
Elaine

Dear Elaine,

Yes, being sick of diets, dieting, the diet industry, deprivation, starvation and more is the place many people get. All diets work. None work over time except for one or two percent of people. Someone calculated the cost of losing one pound through Weight Watchers at something approximating $1500! Being healthy and conscious of what your choices are is the route to a good life -- eat consciously and mindfully, move for fun and pleasure, get excellent medical care, be with people who cherish you.

Wishing you a bountiful life,
Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,

"Are you pregnant? When are you due?" Those are the words I dread hearing. My body is pear shaped with a large, protruding stomach. People ask me if I am pregnant so often that I just want to stay in my house and hide. I go to work but I stay to myself. Any suggestions?
Lena

Dear Lena,

Always checking to see if there is anything happening medically that may help your body be and feel its best is a place to start, if you haven't already done that checking. Being in the world, holding your head high and saying to yourself that you are deserving of everything life has to offer is part of the equation for getting out of your house. Sometimes it helps to plan a response so you don¹t have to search your heart and soul when someone intrudes by making a hurtful comment. You might joke, if you can, and say, "Yes, I am having quintuplets" or, "No, I just have this great, glorious body like all the goddesses." You might say, "Nope" and keep moving. Check out Marilyn Wann's irreverent book, Fatso! for other ideas. She has fantastic things to say! If, though, you feel stuck, it might be a time to talk to a therapist about what is keeping you down.

Wishing you a bountiful life,
Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,

Time to go the beach. I love the water, the sunning and just being relaxed there. Sometimes people look at my body and say mean things or just look. I feel totally entitled to share the beach no matter what anyone else thinks. My life counts, too. My girlfriend/partner/lover isn't so sure I should be going out to the beach in bathing suits. What can I say to her?
Patricia

Dear Patricia,

You have some things to teach your partner about self-acceptance and appreciation for what and who you are. I wonder if she is trying to tell you something about how she feels but is not saying it, an important conversation to have. If she cannot accept your body in public, what is the message? If she is trying to somehow protect you, she must not believe it when you say that you are ready to face life head-on. Sounds like you two have some talking to do!

Wishing you a bountiful life,
Bonnie
bonniebernell
BountifulWomen