Mmmm, summer's here, the season when the earth sends forth its delectable bounty for us to taste. Berries, fresh sweet
corn, tomatoes as big as your head...summer is the perfect time for Big Girls to eat, and according to The People Who
Know, it's a requisite activity high in the interest of National Patriotism and World Peace.
Let's review: Did you realize, Big Girls of the World, that June is National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month? It's also Turkey Lover's Month, National Dairy Month, National IcedTea Month, and National Seafood Month. Oh, joy, oh, rapture! Sign me up, because I enjoy ALL of these foods!
But my hands-down favorite for June is National Candy Month, although the Guys Who Decide on Official Month-Stuff don't specify which type of candy; I personally vote for chocolate, but officially, there is no bad candy--well OK, maybe Pop Rocks--any candy that can make one's stomach explode isn't what I call a treat.
In the midst of all this food-honoring, June is also National Hunger Awareness Month. Very appropo, seeing as how if you eat all the stuff on June's National Foods list, you'll be stuffed to the gills, and the last thing on your mind will be hunger.
July is National Baked Bean Month, National July Belongs to Blueberries Month, National Ice Cream Month, National Culinary Arts Month, National Hot Dog Month, National Picnic Month, National Pickle Month, and my personal favorite, Lasagna Awareness Month.
Once again, all of these delicacies make my Top Big Girl Foods List, so I'll happily do my fair share to indulge in the pleasures of baked beans, blueberries and ice cream. I do find it ironic that National Culinary Arts month must share the road with National Hot Dog Month, because we typically don't associate "wieners" with "culinary arts." But hey, America's nothing if not the Land of Opportunity, and if you feel so inclined to transform a humble frankfurter into a thing of beauty, choose your weapon and go for it!
Always one to question authority, I do take pause at Lasagna Awareness Month, and wonder why a pan of pasta covered in rich, meaty sauce and parmesan requires extra attention? I mean, at my house, if you bake a pan of lasagna, people three blocks over show up for dinner, so it's not like Lasagna's getting a bad rap. Guess they needed an "awareness" cause and since June already had Hunger locked down, Lasagna was the next logical choice.
August is my birthday month, so I was a tad disappointed to learn that the Kudos-to-Food Train slows to a major crawl:
August is National Catfish Month, National Peach Month, and that clever catch-all, National Harvest Month. I suffered a
terrifying catfish experience in college, and I'm not a BGWH (Big Girl Who Harvests), so I guess I'll be baking peach cobbler on a daily basis in August.
Here's how I know that the People Who Select National Month Stuff aren't Big Girls: August is also National Water Quality Month. HELLO! We were on a perfectly good roll, here, with butter, and you slam on the brakes and hit us with National Water Quality Month? Like any BGWS (Big Girl With Sense), I realize the benefits of H2O, especially as a weight loss tool. But really, when we could have had National Tomato Month, or National Corn Dog Month, or National Cat-head Biscuit Month, you sneak in Water Quality? I really don't think so!
As for me, I will make it my BGPM (Big Girl Personal Mission) to sample every type of food in America this summer. On my honor, I will try, to do my best, to my country, to eat everything in sight--wonder if I still have Girl Scout cookies in the freezer--so follow me, Big Girls, and celebrate the Summer of Food!
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