Mmmm, summer's here, the season when the earth sends forth its delectable bounty for us to taste. Berries, fresh sweet corn, tomatoes as big as your head...summer is the perfect time for Big Girls to eat, and according to The People Who Know, it's a requisite activity high in the interest of National Patriotism and World Peace.

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For centuries, women have endured pain and suffering in exchange for what passes in society as 'beauty,' or what is thrust upon us as 'fashion.' As a Big Girl with feet so large I could float down the Mississippi totin' Ol' Huck Finn, I've sometimes been forced to watch the cute shoe parade from the sidelines...designer footwear isn't made in size 11, dahling! But I guess it's just as well, because the arthritis in my knees and ankles makes it impossible for me to navigate stilettos. I can't even manage to stay upright in a pair of clogs--suffice to say, I'm footwear-challenged.

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After years of planning and saving, my family journeyed to Arizona, to see the Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest & Painted Desert, and other "required" points of interest. As a native Arizonian, it was great to be home, breathing that clear, cool air that can suck all the moisture out of your sinuses in 3.2 seconds. There's nothing like sniffing Carmex for a few days to keep your nose lubed and alter your brain chemistry.

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Eat No Chocolate, Pray You Can Avoid Temptation, & Love Sunday When You Can Cheat!

As a Big Girl with Religion & Spirituality, I'm smack-dab in the observation of Lent. Now I don't care what flavor of religion or spirituality you subscribe to, it's none of my beeswax. I do believe that the entire human race could use a lot more soul-searching and gentle behavior toward one another, and yes, I'm one of the bazillion folks who recently read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, which is a well-written book and a heckuva story, no matter how you dice it. I won't judge you for what you believe or don't believe, so please don't judge me for what I do, either!

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Alas, the winter entertainment landscape is very bleak this year, owing to the striking Writers Guild of America. I'm not privy to the details, so I don't really have a dog in that fight. But as a trained screenwriter, I do empathize with my fellow scribes, because the pressure to churn out ratings-generating material faster than most of us can sign our names must be daunting.

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Ever since I was a very small child I've loved Christmas. Twinkling lights, choirs singing, baked goods (yum!) and countless traditions combine to bring me comfort and joy, just like the carol promises. I love the thrill of buying or making gifts, and I've even come to embrace the annual moment of panic when I can't remember where I stashed what I bought or made! As a former world traveler, I enjoy comparing my holiday traditions with those of other countries and cultures, and as naïve as I may be, I continue to believe that one day, Ol' Saint Nick will bring us World Peace.

But until that miracle occurs, it's my job, as a WBG (Wise Big Girl), to enlighten my fellow Big Girls out there in Holiday Land, and help them to express to their significant others, or to their gift-buying challenged family members, what it is that we Big Girls really, truly want for Christmas.

First, let me explain, in no uncertain terms What Big Girls DON'T Want:

1.Big Girls never want unsolicited diet books, period.

2.Big Girls never want an electronic scale that broadcasts your weight across 3 time zones.

3.Big Girls never want any type of muu muu, no matter how slimming it is purported to be.

I've been a Big Girl of assorted size(s) for going on 40-something years, so take it from me, here's what would really knock my socks off on Christmas morning, and I'm guessing most of my BGGP (Big Girl Gal Pals) worldwide would agree:

1.Precious gems in any size or shape, preferably affixed to 24K gold or platinum. The size of a Big Girl's ring finger is one size we're eager to share, trust me on this!

2.A day at the spa. Living our busy Big Girl life's no picnic, so wrap me in green stuff, baby, hand me a hot towel, and get to work on those kinks in my shoulders.

3.A year's supply of Twinkies. Let's face it, the shelf life's just not an issue, ok?

4.A big, honking gift certificate to IGIGI, so I can celebrate New Year's Eve in style.

5.Chocolate, Red Wine, Garlic & Dessert. These are the 4 Big Girl Food Groups. Tattoo them on your brain for No-Fail Big Girl Gift Giving.

6.A Big Boy to appreciate me. Bunkie's definition of a Big Boy: a sensitive, mature man who appreciates me for my inner beauty, my ample bosom, my joie de vivre, and my ability to eat an entire box of Twinkies in one sitting (see #3).

Lucky for me, I already have #6, because my husband is amazing, so my Big Girl Holiday Wish for all you Big Girls out there is that you each find True Love, in whatever shape and persuasion you desire it, and that when it crosses your path, you can embrace this rare gem like I did. The best thing a Big Girl can do is love herself, so she can accept the love of others.

This holiday season, I hope you get to wear your best sparkly outfit and bling, celebrate the blessings you have in your life, and I hope you can know the joy that is found when you give your time to others. Bake a batch of your favorite cookies and share half of them with a shut-in. Send Godiva chocolates to a long-lost pal.
Be happy, and Be a Big Girl with Attitude!
©2007 Bunkie Lynn