Dressing “Sexy” and Feeling Confident With IGIGI’s Plus-size Kaori Dress

Posted by on October 11, 2013

It’s okay to want to be sexy. There. I said it.

No matter what your size or your age, it’s okay to want to be sexy, and it is definitely achievable, too. However, as a plus-size woman, when I put on a slinky dress or a short skirt, I feel that I am consistently put in a box – a BBW box – or at least that’s what commenters seem to tell me.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, BBW means “Big Beautiful Woman.” Well, that is true, I suppose: I am big, I am beautiful, and I am a woman. It should seem like a compliment, right? The problem where the title BBW is concerned, is that this unfortunate acronym tends to lump all plus-size women together in the same category, thereby turning all plus-size women and their bodies into a fetish, which I absolutely abhor. It is not a fetish to appreciate my body, nor is it a fetish to love me.

When a woman who is a size four dresses up for a night-out and snaps a picture of her outfit to post on Instagram, she does not receive any demeaning nicknames online, or messages from guys with usernames like “proudchubbychaser16.” Plus-size bodies, on the other hand, are either overtly sexualized or completely ignored. There is no in between, which makes it incredibly challenging for plus-size women to put together a sexy look without wondering about what type of attention it will attract.

For a night look I paired the Kaori Infinity Dress with black heels and pink and orange statement earrings.

For a night look I paired the Kaori Infinity Dress with black heels and pink and orange statement earrings.

My body is beautiful because it is my body. I would feel the same about it whether I was a size 2 or a size 32 (for reference, I am a size 14). All women are different and some women embrace the title of BBW (and they are well within their rights to do so), but at the same time, the women who hate the title of BBW also need to be respected. I hate to say it, but anything that could also be equated with a category on an adult website is not a moniker that I personally want to be associated with.

Now, with all that commentary out in front of me, I have to admit the IGIGI Kaori Infinity Dress makes me feel both beautiful and sexy.

The boat neckline is flattering and chic.

The boat neckline is flattering and chic.

When I first saw the dress on IGIGI’s website, I had a feeling that it could be a great going-out dress. It looked comfortable, it is clearly convertible, since you can alter both the sleeves and the hemline with ease, and it’s black – it’s basically my ideal garment.

I styled the dress two different ways to transition it from day to night. For my night look (above)  I chose to keep it somewhat simple and kept my hair up to show off my pink and orange statement earrings and threw on a high heel. My favorite part of this dress is that you can adjust the length for knee-length to a more tunic style by simply scooching the hemline up a little bit. As you can see, I went with more of a tunic length.

For my day look I wore the belt that comes with the dress, a great wide faux leather belt that adds great structure and knee length boots. It is brutal finding stylish, high-quality, wide calf boots. The pair that I am wearing has a hidden stretch panel with elastic that allows the boots to comfortably bend around my calf. However, it took many visits to the mall and returned mail orders to find this pair. Wide calf for some designers simply means an inch or two wider than their straight size boots, which as anyone with thicker calves can attest, will not actually fit a customer with wide calves.  Unfortunately, the designers that offer wide calf boots rarely have multiple options available.

I firmly believe that a good pair of riding boots is necessary for any closet and these wide calf boots fit the bill.

I firmly believe that a good pair of riding boots is necessary for any closet and these wide calf boots fit the bill.

One of my friends told me that she felt self-conscious boot shopping for wide calf boots because there would consistently be only one or two options at the various department stores she tried. Plus, she thought that the elastic bands that stretch the boots made it look even more obvious that she was wearing a wide calf boot. If you don’t want to wear a wide calf boot there are other options. Try ankle boots, a suede boot with slouch or a mid-calf boot for a similar effect. It doesn’t matter what you wear as long as you feel good wearing it.

What do you wear when you want to feel sexy and confident? Do you have a go-to dress or outfit? Share in the comments!

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