Eat No Chocolate, Pray You Can Avoid Temptation, & Love Sunday When You Can Cheat!

As a Big Girl with Religion & Spirituality, I'm smack-dab in the observation of Lent. Now I don't care what flavor of religion or spirituality you subscribe to, it's none of my beeswax. I do believe that the entire human race could use a lot more soul-searching and gentle behavior toward one another, and yes, I'm one of the bazillion folks who recently read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, which is a well-written book and a heckuva story, no matter how you dice it. I won't judge you for what you believe or don't believe, so please don't judge me for what I do, either!

But for all you non-liturgical types out there, Lent isn't what you pick off last year's sweater; it's the season that Catholics invented to tone down all the Christmas & New Year's celebrating and sober up the peasants before Easter and the spring plowing. This caught on like crazy, because let's face it, there's not much to do in winter except drink and overeat, and that can quickly get out of hand, so other religions quickly hopped on the Lenten train.

In any case, as a Good Lutheran Big Girl, Lent in my world is properly observed with prayer, fasting, lots of inner reflection about misdeeds, and a heaping dose of guilt. Another Lenten tradition is to omit words like "joy," or "alleluia" from the church service, and sing every awful minor-key dirge in the hymnal as punishment. The ultimate Lenten observation is to "give up" a vice, a bad habit, or something dear to your heart, like chocolate. All of these things are done so that on Easter, we can shout "Alleluia" with "Joy" as we bite the heads off innocent chocolate bunnies, before donning a new spring outfit from Igigi that we can model for our jealous girlfriends on the way into church. Don't ask me, I didn't make up this stuff!

As a Big Girl Perpetually on a Diet, Lent is my "get serious" time of year. Lent is my Fat Camp, my Time of Discipline. It's like "Biggest Losers" without the commercials. In my best Lenten 6-week diet marathon, I gave up sugar and chocolate, and shed 25 pounds. That was before I found out that the 40 days of Lent don't include Sundays...which means on Sunday, you can cheat.

I'm not really sure who decided that Sundays are cheat days...there's probably an entire Lenten Diet Inquisition Committee or something, but let's review that I'm a BGWIVMTNE: A Big Girl Who Isn't Very Motivated to Not Eat. I love food. If I know that on Sunday I can Chow Down, it makes for a lean, mean rest of the week, because for every pound I lose during those days of inner reflection, on Sunday I'm makin' up for lost time faster than you can say "penance." Then WHAM, it's Monday, and I'm back to Square One. Sort of the Speed-dial of Yo-Yo Dieting. Doesn't work, trust me, because before long, every day becomes Sunday, and I eat whatever I want.

So this year, instead of "giving up," I'm taking on. Now anyone who knows me and my spiking peri-menopausal hormones knows that I'm not talking about taking on water weight, here. I'm talking "doing" something...helping others, or working out more (HAHA) or making a difference. Taking on a difficult task.

Go ahead, ask me, because I know you're dying to say, "Bunkie, what'd ya take on?"

DISCIPLINE. It was right in front of my face. When I examine my Lenten behavior, and pretty much all my behavior over my entire life, I've rarely exhibited discipline, in any form or fashion. I over-eat, I over-spend, I over-commit, I over-do everything.

So this Lent, I'm practicing DISCIPLINE. Every morning I read something inspirational, because it's good to be inspired. Every day I try my danged best to make smart food choices, and use DISCIPLINE to avoid foods that should be special treats, instead of daily habits. I try to talk less, and listen more, and that takes every ounce of Big Girl D I can muster! And every evening I'm making myself turn off the umpteenth rerun of late-night TV and go to sleep on time, so that the next day I wake up rested, which means I'll be happier, and less likely to crave the things that bring me false comfort.

So far, it's working pretty well! And on Sundays, I use DISCIPLINE to play by the Lenten rules...I eat a handful of M&Ms, but just a handful. My goodness, they taste wonderful, after a week of being conditioned not to eat every piece of chocolate available on earth!

This Lent, I'm not obsessed with a "number of pounds I could lose," or constantly whining about what I "gave up" as I watch my wicked, skinny sister eat chocolate cake on a Tuesday. What I've learned is that in finding DISCIPLINE, I'm learning about what I'm capable of doing. And that's a Big Girl Motivator if there ever was one, because the sky's the limit.

So Big Girls, be happy with yourselves, and discover DISCIPLINE in your own way, for what matters most to you. Envision yourself in a new career; ask that hunky guy out for a drink, decide to walk that half-marathon. You can do it, if you try!